so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
