like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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