On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
