Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
