how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
