had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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