dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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