Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
