I cannot find my penis.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
