The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
