yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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