i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
