yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
