We won't sleep together?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
