I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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