the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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