No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
