Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
