we were pretty classy up until the second keg
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think people are normalizing furries
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
