Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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