Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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