She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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