What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
