I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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