you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
