That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
