And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
