Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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