I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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