people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
