she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
