whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
