i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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