I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
