Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
