I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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