Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
