Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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