he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
