Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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