he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
