im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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