your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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