the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
