God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
