i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
