Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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