Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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