God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize