dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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