there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
