Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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