just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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