This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
