WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize