my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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