I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
