How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize