Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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