I think my fart just growled at me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
