I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
