3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize