Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize