i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
