Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
and she was petting her beer can
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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